I spent the last few days helping a friend close out a business she has with her soon-to-be-ex-husband.
They’ve been separated for almost two years at this point, but are still in the early stages of getting divorced.
Talking to her just reminded me how important it is to make sure you marry or commit to a good person.
Obviously, hindsight is 20/20.
But this guy showed what I consider a major warning sign from the start: A general dislike for women.
It’s sometimes hard to tell whether someone is just selective in who they choose to get along with. (Like me.) Or whether they actually have an issue with a whole class of people.
Turns out, unfortunately for my friend, that her husband was someone who has an issue with all women.
He didn’t treat her bad at first.
But when they went through some hard times in their relationship that switch flipped for him and he started treating her like he treats every other woman.
(He’s pretty much a condescending ass who can’t handle a woman in a position of authority over him and he gets drunk and says awful, mean things.)
So, for anyone out there.
If you have very negative views towards the sex you choose to date, step away from dating and fix your shit.
If you’re with someone who seems to have very negative views towards your gender (with the amazing exception of you) be very leery of the situation and realize that you may flip that switch for them and then all that negative crap you’ve been hearing about other people will suddenly be directed at you.
Better to find someone with an overall healthy attitude towards others.
My friend doesn’t regret the marriage–she grew a lot through the experience–but I don’t think she’d willingly put herself in a situation like that again.
Learn from her experience.