Dating And Money

So, the Forbes 400 list is out today.  You know, the one that lists the top 400 richest people in the world?

That had me thinking about dating and money.

I’ll admit, there have been times I’ve been tempted by the idea of dating some wealthy guy.

It seems like life would be simpler if I did.

How nice to be with someone who could pay all the bills.

No money fights or worries.

Of course, it wouldn’t be like that.

No matter what amount of money you have, I think money is always an issue.

And sometimes money comes with expectations or burdens that I don’t want in my life.

(Those expensive charity events can be downright painful…)

I did once date a guy who was pretty well off.

(Well off enough to call his job “something to do to get him out of the house.”)

It was awkward.

Personally, I like a guy to pay for dinner and drinks early on.  I think it signals courtship as opposed to two friends hanging out or something casual.

But this guy wanted to take me clothes shopping the second weekend we were hanging out.

And when we decided to go play tennis in the park wanted to buy me the “appropriate” clothes for it.

I know some women would love that, but it didn’t work for me at all.

I was capable of buying my own clothes, thank you.  So, why buy them for me?

When we were together was I then obligated to wear the clothes he chose for me because he’d paid for them?

And how soon until I just became his personal Barbie doll?

(NOT something I would ever be good at.)

I think money can create a power imbalance in a relationship.

If the guy pays for everything, then doesn’t his opinion carry more weight?  If he paid for that trip to Jamaica and he wants to go snorkeling, then isn’t that what’s going to happen?

I doubt he’d say that explicitly, but there’d probably be some comment about how he’d wanted to come to Jamaica to snorkel.  (Hint, hint.)

I think a lot of times these things come down to the two people involved and their views on it.

A man who loves to buy things and pay for everything is best off with a woman who wants a man to buy things and pay for everything.

Too out of balance, one way or the other, and it just doesn’t work.

I will say that for me, personally, a man who flashes his money too early or too strongly generally strikes out.

Which is not to say that I want to be the one paying for everything.  Just that I’d rather date the guy who was takes me out for a low-key meal rather than splurges on a $250 dinner for that first date.

(Even if that’s his norm and it’s not a splurge, I’d rather he avoided it at the beginning.)

Then again, I’m weird.

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