Bad Breakup Advice

I was reading an article called “The best way to break up” on Yahoo!.

They should’ve titled the article “How to Be a Patronizing F*$! When You Dump a Chick.”

On slide one they recommend that a man treat breaking up with a woman like a business meeting, complete with an “implementation deadline” and a plan to be somewhere else after he’s had his say.

On slide two they say, and I quote, “And, as with any cornered animal, don’t touch her.”

Cornered animal?  Wow.  The person who wrote the article has a lot of respect for women, don’t they?

This is the same person who recommends that a man ask the woman questions like, “Why do you think we could never agree on holiday destinations?”

Now, let’s just stop a moment and picture this break-up.

You’ve been dating someone six months.  They invite you to a neutral coffee shop that neither of you have been to before.  They tell you that they have to leave in half an hour for an appointment.  And then they inform you that they’re breaking up with you because they just don’t feel compatible enough with you and ask you, “Well, why do you think we were never able to agree on what to do on Friday nights?”

Hurry, now.  Time is ticking.  They have somewhere else to be.

I just read the next slide.  Even better.  The article recommends doing all of this in a newscaster’s voice.  Because, you know, being cold and impersonal will help soften the blow.

Oh, and the last slide.  If she reacts poorly to the man treating her like an employee he’s firing (instead of someone he possibly cared for) and says nasty things on Facebook the man is supposed to send her a polite business-like response asking her to please discuss this in private because she’s damaging his reputation.

Here’s a thought.  If a man is in a relationship that requires a talk to end it, then he needs to man up and spend the time to end it properly.  By, I don’t know, acknowledging the woman’s feelings and appreciating the fact that she may be hurt and want explanations and that that may take time.  She may even cry.  She may even want to discuss it.

Even if a man has moved on emotionally, he should suck it up for a few hours to end things well.  Not follow The Distant Entitled Jerk’s Guide to Getting Out of a Relationship.

My advice: A break-up is not a business transaction.  Don’t treat it like one.

 

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