Asking For What You Want

In Don’t Be a Douchebag I give the real-life douchebags a pretty hard time.  Because they’re annoying and shallow and I don’t like having to wade through them to find a quality guy.

But, I have to give them props for one thing.

They ask for what they want.

In college my brother had a friend who was like this.  He’d go to a bar, start on the right side of the room and hit on every single woman until one said yes.  Made him the laughing stock of his friends (pretty sure he used a really cheesy line to do it, too), but, you know what?  That guy succeeded.

Would other guys want the woman who said yes to him?  Mmm.  Perhaps not.

But he got what he wanted.

Because he asked for it.

How does this translate for a guy who doesn’t want to take just any woman home?

Well, do you like a woman?  Ask her out.  On a real bona fide date.

Don’t say, “Hey, we should like hang out sometime.”

Or, “I was going to see the new Hunger Games movie.  Want to go to it with me?”

Ask her on a date.  Make it clear that this isn’t two friends hanging out.

As with most dating advice, this is true for life as well.

I recently had to negotiate a contract for something I didn’t really care about.  So, I asked for exactly what I would need to do it.  And I got everything I asked for.  (Should’ve asked for more it seems…)

A few friends have commented that they can’t believe that happened because they’ve never had anyone offer them those things.

But they’d never asked for them either.

If you work at the same job for twenty plus years and don’t ask for more money, you won’t get more than is built into the system for the average worker.

Sure, when you ask you risk getting told no.

But if you don’t ask, you’ll never get it.

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