I was reading this article the other day about Mickey Rooney’s many marriages. Turns out the man was married eight times!
But the reason I’m writing about it is because that last marriage lasted thirty-four years.
(Seems I’m repeating things a lot today.)
Now, he could’ve had that first failed marriage to Ava Gardner and said, “That’s it. Relationships are just too hard.”
Or maybe after the fifth one when his soon-to-be-ex wife’s new boyfriend killed her.
But no. He kept trying again and again and again.
Now, one could argue that maybe he could’ve skipped all the trips down the aisle, but I think that was more how things worked at that time.
My own grandma was married some ridiculous number of times. She did the same thing as Rooney, though—kept trying until she got it right. And her last marriage lasted fifteen plus years until she passed away. So, she, too, found happiness in the end by continually being willing to try and try again.
I thoroughly believe in the million monkeys theory of dating. (I just made that shit up.) Basically, the idea is that if you keep trying, keep getting into relationships, eventually one will last. Try enough times, one will work. (Just like if you put a million monkeys in front of typewriters, one will eventually manage to write something decent.)
Think of all the trainwreck people you know who spin from insane relationship situation to insane relationship situation.
I knew a girl who dated and married a co-worker, then dated her boss, then dated a partner at her law firm, and then finally ended up happily married to a former co-worker. Now, some folks might have hesitated to go there. (I would on all four counts.) But, she made it happen by being willing to take the risk.
One thing is certain: You sit on the sidelines you don’t get anywhere.
I have another friend who just started online dating and has been on twenty dates in three weeks. And the twentieth date is looking pretty promising. Now, she could’ve given up when getting those twenty dates meant wading through a hundred plus inane e-mails. Or she could’ve stopped after that first awkward as hell date. Or the tenth.
But she didn’t. She kept trying.
She didn’t settle. You can’t settle.
But she didn’t quit trying either.
So, if you really want it, keep going. It’ll suck sometimes. But try enough, and someone just might stick.